A Wild Untamable Toddler

My three year old boy is ape-sh!t crazy. He never slows down. He tests every limit and rule he encounters, and insist he can do it, regardless of what "It" is. He pees outside for fun, turns yogurt sticks into guns, loves pretend, dress-up, games, and when people think he's "adorable", and everything else in between you can, and can't, imagine.

If it weren't for my friends with boys, I'd be positive that my kid was a rare breed of wild untamable toddler. Thankfully, they all would share war stories about their crazy boy doing crazy things. I resigned the fact that I had a boy, and such was life with a boy.

While I love having a boy, it didn't stop me from secretly wondering what it would be like to have a well-behaved little girl, like the ones I always saw playing quietly or sitting still at restaurants. I would look at my friends with little princesses and think how they had it so easy with their sweet little well-behaved princess.

As with almost all my preconceived notions about parenting and children, I was wrong.  It appears,  that all little girls aren't perfect little princesses...

Quite the opposite!

They can be wild untamable terror toddlers too!

Hot Damn. Who knew?

I have become friends with two mothers at Ollie's new school that are FABULOUS!  I love these women. They both have girls. In fact, ALL girls. One has three girls, the other two. In addition to seeing them at school, we have a weekly playdate at a park with our three kids; Ollie and the two girls in his class.

While, most of the time the girls are fantastic and beyond adorable, they have their moments. The same moments my boy has, and some are way over-the-top worse!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE our weekly gathering. Between us three moms, most of time is spent laughing with, and at, each other.  I hate to call it a parent pissing contest, but that's what it is! We trade stories and one-up each other, between our weekly struggles with getting dressed for school, eating more than pasta and PB&J, our toddlers preferring to pee outside, hitting, blatantly ignoring, refusing to apologize, crying when someone either won't share, or worse, refuses to play with them...

I was floored by how many crazy and naughty things their girls do that my boy does!

It turns out, toddlers are toddlers-- gender means very little.

One second our toddler is beyond sweet and adorable, then the next they are peeing outside for fun, while the neighbors try not to look. One second they LOVE pasta, then next that hate you and your damn pasta. One second they are playing with their friend, the next they are bitch slapping the kid for taking their toy. Girls make potty jokes with the best of them too!

Let Your Kid Wipe His Own Butt

Between sleep-training and potty-training, it's a wonder parents make it out of the toddler phase with any of their marbles. I'm constantly thinking, This is it! I'm really going lose my shit!

Amazingly, I don't.

Well, in an ugly twist, I am positive this latest development in potty-training is definitely going to do me in.

The Good News: My kid is so self sufficient, he goes to the potty by himself. The only time I have to prompt him to go, is when we are leaving the house. Pretty much, the only time he ever asks for help, is when he needs me to wipe his butt.


The Bad News: He's no longer calling me to wipe his butt. Which, sounds like a good thing, but without a butt wiping protocol already in place, things got messy, fast.

Truthfully, at just three years old, I haven't bothered to teach him to do it himself. He sucks at cleaning up spills, how on earth will he be able to wipe his own ass? Plus, the thought of him being tasked to do it without even my supervision kind of scares me.

So, when he calls me to wipe his butt, I happily do it.


Well, my fears were realized a few days ago when I found Ollie in the bathroom with half a roll of toilet paper stuck to his butt and the toilet.

Me: BUDDY! What are you doing?

The kid: The paper is stuck to my butt.

Me: Why didn't you call me?

The kid: I can do it myself.

Clearly, this was not the case.

I cleaned him up, explained that I needed to help him until he was a little bigger, and to call me next time. So much for our little talk,  I found him in another sticky predicament the next day.

Same conversation ensued.

It dawned on me on day three the kid is determined to wipe his own ass, whether I like it or not. There must be some inner need driving him.

So, the last two days have been a mission to teach the kid to do it himself.

While I can't say it's been the most hygienic experience, I can say that he is finding a HUGE boost in his independence doing it. So it's worth it. I just hope he gets the hang of it sooner than later.

Do Not Let Your Child Be Spoiled

I recently came across an article on POPSUGAR titled "10 Signs That A Child Is Spoiled." At first I thought, Ugh. Do I really want to read this?

Inherently, I know my kid is spoiled. I am a spineless twit when it comes to that kid. I spend my days trying to come up with creative ways of saying, "no" because the word itself doesn't register with him.

I read the article. I had to.

I'm so glad I did! By number four on the list, I was laughing my ass off.  It was clear my kid was spoiled, but according to the list, it wasn't all my fault. Or FTD's.

It was Nature's fault.

As in, the Nature of the beast...

Here's the list and my thoughts on each one:

1. S/He throws tantrums, often.  

 --HA! He's a toddler. Tantrum is his nickname.

2. He isn't ever satisfied.  

--Debatable. He's satisfied... when he gets his way.  Does that count?

3. He isn't helpful.

--Well... He's "helpful," just not in a helpful way.  He's always happy to help in his own way, which usually includes either making a huge mess or making things take three hundred times longer than they should. Or both.

4. He tries to control adults.  

--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hell yeah he tries to control adults. He was born thinking that was how things worked. When it comes to just about everything, he tries to control the situation. This would be why he's sleeping in my bed, not potty trained, picking out his breakfast and lunch and bitchy about bathtime and bedtime.

5. He frequently embarrasses you in public.  

--Um. Yes. Always.  He's a toddler! His behavior in public is atrocious. Before we even leave the house, I start prepping him for our day and what he will get if he is a "good boy."  It never works. The kid's behavior in public is work-in-progress that might kill me.

What do you think about the list?  Is your child spoiled or annoyingly age appropriate? What age do you think this list best relates to?

Time to Get Back to School

I can’t believe we are lacing up our shoes and getting ready to go back to school next week. Seriously, I need a few more days, weeks, months to soak up these tiny people before they sprout on me all over again. Over the summer, they have surely grown half a foot. We had to buy all new everything — even socks and underwear!

When choosing clothes for my kids, I have always been of the mindset to

let them wear what they like.
Dress in a way that makes them feel confident.
BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. BE YOU.


The best part about getting dressed is expressing yourself, letting a bit of your personality shine through in what you’re wearing and for the most part I have been extremely lucky they have a pretty good head on their shoulders and eye for what suits them best.

They each have such a strong aesthetic and couldn’t be more different, but we managed to find pieces at Tea Collection that catered to them all.

My wild child who can’t get enough of bold prints or pops of color, my animal lover with a heart of gold, and my cool kid who just wants to be comfortable while he’s jumping over and under everything on the playground.

I love the concept of teaching children about the world around them through design, you’ll see us start to focus more heavily on design for kids in the months to come and Tea Collection is a perfect way to fuse fashion with function with education. I hope this is a partnership that will continue through the seasons.

This fall, they released a new German inspired collection and it has been the perfect way to open up conversations about this wonderful land two of my children were born in. They may not remember the rolling hills and green valleys, the industrial cities or lightning fast train rides we took while they were very young, but they do feel a deeper connection now thanks to the way Tea presents its materials each season — the adorable graphics, inspiring blog posts and videos and really awesome activity booklet that comes in every box.

My Baby's First Day Of School

Today, my baby went to the new school. Not to actually start school, but more to acclimate before it begins next week with a few playdays. Little did I know, this week is not only about him acclimating.  I managed to freak out a little too. Starting when I woke up at 5:30am a nervous wreck.

What if he doesn't like it?

What if he cries the entire day?

What if I am pushing him too hard?

Every over-protective first-time parent worry and awful scenario imaginable was running through my head.

And even though this school comes HIGHLY recommended, and the teachers have all been there forever and a day, and I know they are nice people and they don't bite... but...

THEY ARE STILL STRANGERS!!!

I'm leaving my child with strangers!

So after three hours of being a paranoid parent, a little reluctantly, I drove him to school.  I was a total mess, but doing my best to hold it together.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? I know this is the right thing to do but...

When we walked in to the classroom to find two strangers greeting us, I held Ollie extra tight.

I swear I tried to be brave. I did. It was just SOOOOOOO Hard!

I immediately asked where Ollie's teacher was, then practically ran to her, clutching Ollie.

I'm. Such. A. DORK!

I walked right up to his teacher with a big smile on my face, and in the kindest sweetest tone I could muster, I said, Good Morning! I'm totally freaking out...

Thankfully, she laughed then spent the next 2 minutes talking me off the ledge and reassuring me he would have a great time.

I scooped up Ollie and went back to the classroom with the strangers. I put him down, gave him a big hug and kiss, then left... With my heart in my throat.

Of course, Ollie will be fine. He will have a wonderful day, and make new friends. He will get to do new things and learn fun stuff.

This Happy First Day of School Note Free Printable can be used as  gift tags for teachers, other school staff or for students from teacher! I designed this for my boys’ First Day of School gift for their teachers; I punched a hole and attached it to a gift bag with a string.  I also plan on putting this note in their lunchboxes.

Finding The Balance Between Nap Time & Rest Time

At first, I let him go without naps.  Since so many parents told me it would happen, I just went with it. But after just a week of letting nap time go, I noticed that it was making my child a miserrbal brat from 4pm on, and a terrible sleeper at night!  Sure, he went to sleep by 7pm without issue, but he tossed and turned all night, waking at least three or four times.

Rather than force him to take a nap, I tried to make him have "Rest Time" in his room.  He could play quietly in his room for an hour.

This kind of proved to be worthless too.

We went back to taking naps the next week...

For those of you facing the nap transition period, I thought I would outline the difference I see in my child between Naps, Rest Time and  saying, Screw it.  Because, to just make the blanket statement, "children stop having naps after three," is TOTALLY CRAP! Just like with every other big change with your child, you have to find a comfortable balance to make the transition as smooth as possible.

NAPTIME

Ollie is nearly three-and-a-half and still NEEDS his naps. His nap begins after lunch between 12-1pm and lasts about two hours.

He wakes up refreshed and happy. And stays that way until bedtime at 7pm. I try to get him up to the bath by 6:30 but due to he and FTD playing and him getting a little older, I let it slide until 7-7:30. He is asleep by 8:30 every night. Though I shoot for 8pm.

Naps, by far, make for the best day for both Ollie and I.  Sure bed time is a little more difficult, but to have a nice guy all day, and a GREAT sleeper at night, it's worth it. When Ollie has his nap, he sleeps at night from 8pm-7am.

REST TIME

Rest time is that in-between nap and screw it phase. I usually resort to rest time when Ollie is being SUPER difficult about taking his nap. Or, we have had a crazy busy day that kept us out past nap time. I stick him in his room for an hour to play, which he rarely protests, since he is already tired from missing his nap.

Rest time only nets me an early easy bedtime that starts at 7pm. He tosses and turns all night long, and wakes up four or five times crying.

Needless to say, even though the early easy bedtime is awesome, it's not worth the horrible sleep we both get. Rest time is my last resort. Ollie falls asleep around 7:30pm and wakes around 6:30am

Confessions Of A First Time Mom

So, I'm nuts when it comes to my child.  My long time readers know that, but according to my sister, an avid reader and critiquer of my blog, I've been holding out on you. Apparently, I need to let the world know just how neurotic I am.

This past weekend, a church near my house had their annual picnic. Complete with carnival rides and kids games, and my personal favorite, a cake wheel where you place a dime on a number between 1-120 and if the spinning wheel lands on your number, you win a cake!

Unfortunately, the weather forecast was calling for 95 degrees with a heat index of 100-105.

All weekend long my phone was blowing up with text messages from the National Weather Service with heat advisories and a reminder to stay hydrated, and if possible, avoid going outside.

Needless to say, I was less than stoked about the weather.  My little fair skinned red-headed toddler definitely does not need to be out in that kind of heat, on a black top parking lot no less.

Being that the weekend long picnic is kind of the highlight of our summer, not going was not an option. So, I planned ahead for the heat.

My prep went like this:

In my handbag, I packed LOADS of sunblock, bug spray and a hand fan.

In a small cooler I packed:


Three large bottles of electrolyte water (partially frozen to keep extra cold)
Two frozen washcloths- for the back of my toddler's neck to keep cool
A Travel pack of baby wipes (storing them in the cooler meant that would be cool on his face and hands)
Frozen grapes and strawberries in snack bags

Clearly, I wasn't messing around.

Vacationing with our Tablet

The tablet is very travel friendly.  I didn’t have to pack/bring a larger laptop or use the small screen of my phone.  My Toshiba Encore™ 2 is super lightweight and thin but still has a nice and clear 10.1-inch screen.  I really liked being able to browse the internet and check on a few things online from the tablet.

I really try my best to stay unconnected with anything on the internet or work related when on vacation but I did have a couple of emails and blog related work I had to check on a few times really quick.  The tablet was great for this because it works more like a computer than my phone does and the screen is much easier to read.   I hate to bring my laptop on vacation so that is never an option.

Keeps the kids entertained with videos and apps.  My three young sons preferred the tablet over my phone for playing games and watching videos.  It came in handy a few times when the boys started asking if we there yet on the trip down and on the way back.

Know the World About Toddlers

Before I became a mother, was the girl in the grocery store shaking her head at the mom who was clearly not capable of “controlling” her toddler. I was the server in the restaurant who tried desperately to give up the table with the family of four being seated. I was the girl shopping at the mall wishing the mother and her screaming child in the oversized stroller would just go home.

I owe a HUGE apology to every parent I judged.

Plain and simple, Toddlers are nuts. Toddlers need to explore, and talk, and test boundaries. Yes, they are sweet, and wonderful, and full of smiles and laughter too, but they will scream and cry and throw tantrums the second you try to keep them from doing something they are determined to do.

Of course, with tough love, consistency and perseverance, toddlers calm down and stop with the petty tantrums, but it's a process, not an overnight thing.

Toddlers are not robots, therefore, no, they cannot always be “controlled”. There is no “ON/OFF” switch.

Toddlers can be loud, stubborn, out of control, and vocal at times. So Can Adults.

Toddlers will throw a huge fit when stopped from, or kept from doing something they want. So do adults.

I promise, I am trying to "control" my toddler, but dammit there is only so much I can take in a day! There are only so many No’s! I can shout, there are only so many times I can pick him up only to have him push away with such force I think he is going to crush my throat and chest. There are only so many times I can have him screaming in my ear as I redirect his attention.

I pick my battles and do my best.

I am officially at a point where I want to wear a shirt everywhere I go that says, "He's a Toddler, GET OVER IT!" The shirt would be both for me and for the people shaking their head during a meltdown.

I want to stop feeling so embarrassed by my son's behavior. I can't be so hard on myself anymore! There is only so much I can do. Yes, I can stop him from running around, but if I do, then he is going to cry, and at this stage, I cannot stop him from both.

I try to be the best mom I can be.

No. I am the best mom I can be.

Summer is just beginning, but five toddlers have already died of heatstroke in hot parked vehicles in Idaho, Florida, Louisiana, and Arizona. The top ten states for these deaths are (in order): Texas, Florida, California, Arizona, Tennessee, North Carolina, Georgia, Louisiana, Virginia, and Oklahoma.

Each year, dozens of children die in this tragic way. Most often, they are forgotten in the backseat by a busy parent or caregiver. Some fatalities occur when a child gains access on his or her own to a car that was left unlocked. Others are left intentionally in the car while a caregiver chooses to go shopping or run an errand.

The International Parking Institute, the largest association of parking professionals, offers these eight safety tips:

Never leave a child alone in parked car-never, not even for a minute. In many states, leaving a child in a car unattended is a criminal offense.

Call 911 if you see a child alone in a car. Every minute counts.

Never leave your car without checking the backseat. Put your wallet or phone in back as a reminder. If your child is still in a car seat, put a stuffed toy on it when you take the child out. When the safety seat is occupied, keep the toy up front as a visual reminder.

Arrange for your childcare provider to call if your child doesn’t arrive on time.

If your child is missing, check nearby pools first, then the car and trunk of the car immediately.

Always lock your car, even in the garage or driveway.

Teach your children that vehicles are never to be used as play areas.

Keep car keys and remote control devices where children can’t get them.

This 4-year-old hears her own voice for the first time

    If you've ever been underwater while listening to someone speak, then you may somewhat understand what this little girl has heard and experienced throughout her young life.
    Four-year-old Kai was born with fifty percent hearing loss in one ear and sixty-five percent in the other, according to the video description. As she receives her new hearing aids, this video captures Kai's sweetest reaction to hearing clearly for the first time.
    First, her face lights up as she hears her parent's voices clearly. Then, as she answers them, she giggles as she hears her own voice for the first time. "Oh, my gosh. This is so funny. I can hear my voice." The excitement dancing in her eyes is so sweet. She couldn't before hear herself talk, and this new found sound is a joyful experience. You can hear her mother overcome with tears of happiness in the background.

    Sometimes, hearing aids or Cochlear implants are an option for people who are deaf depending on individual circumstances. Read this woman's personal story of being deaf and then receiving Cochlear implants in "
    Identity crisisDeaf--with Cochlear implants
    ."
    American Sign Language (ASL) is another way people who are deaf can communicate. Even those who are hearing can learn this language to break down communication barriers with deaf family, friends and others in their community. Read this beautiful article about communicating with ASL and how it "paints a picture."
    There are many resources for learning sign language including YouTube videos, videos geared toward children, books and community or college classes. Anyone can learn it — from babies to adults — and it's a beautiful language to experience.

Kids may understand love better than you

Love can be defined in may different ways, yet, it sometimes seems like we forget how to express it to others.

Love is so simple. These kids define love in a manner which everyone can understand. What is love? Some of their answers include:
    Helping someone even if you don't want to.
    Giving away some of your stuff that you really like.
    Sharing your toys with others.
    Smiling and saying good things about others.
    Giving compliments.
    Helping your parents.
    Playing with someone on the playground when they are lonely.
    Love others because you are loved.
    Love others because that is what Jesus did for us.
    Treat others how you would like to be treated.
    Be kind to others.
    Sharing food with those who need it.
    Giving hugs and kisses.
    One boy made a beautiful point when he said, "If we show people love, they can spread it all around the world. How much more loving the world would be if we chose to show love instead of being full of selfishness, hate, revenge, gossip or any other self-serving or hurtful actions.
Love truly is about giving of yourself to someone else in need. Feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, comforting the sad, helping the helpless and befriending the lonely. One person's love can make a difference. Being kind is not something you will ever regret.
How do you show love to others? How about to your family? How do you show love to your spouse? Make sure those around you know you love them. Love can be shown through actions, words, deeds or through a kind embrace.

Why my kids always wear sleeves

• Modest is literally the hottest.
  Growing up, the summers were hot and humid. We spent a lot of time playing in the woods, collecting wild berries and trying to find a pool or creek to cool off in. There was one rule in our family that compounded the heat on sweltering days: everyone had to wear a real shirt (with sleeves) and a real pair of shorts (much longer than your pockets). My buddies were running around with no sticky shirt to weigh them down while I was carrying a sweat sack on my shoulders every day. But those were the rules. I wore a shirt everywhere I went. As a parent, I now understand my parents' logic.
  You might be thinking that my family was prude — part of a never-ending Puritan-American heritage. My parents didn't know much about skin cancer risks until my oldest siblings were out of the house, so all this couldn't have been in the name of protecting our freckled noses or pasty shoulders. We just wore clothes. I eventually found it weird that some of my friends walked around their own houses in just their underwear. You see, my family wore clothes around the house as well. All of us. Two parents and six kids all not being naked around each other. What did that teach us?
  
  

• Modesty is for everyone

  The most important lesson I learned growing up in a house full of clothed people was that we should all be modest. My dad didn't hang out in his undies and my brothers didn't lounge on the couch in a towel after showering. The lesson of modesty was taught by rule and example. Both the boys and girls were held to the rules. These days, modesty debates often revolve around the control of female bodies. When modesty is only a rule for women, it truly is a power game and I understand how that can make women feel oppressed. However, when modesty is a rule for everyone, it is part of common decency.
  One of my brothers was a huge fan of Charles Barkley when he played for the Phoenix Suns, and he loved to wear his "Sir Charles" jersey around. He wore it to school or just shooting hoops in the driveway. He wore his sleeveless jersey over a white T-shirt, though. For my parents, it didn't matter if that wasn't cool or typical. The shirt didn't have sleeves. My sisters couldn't wear spaghetti-strap tops, and we couldn't wear tank tops.
  

• But there are exceptions, right?

  When I joined the cross country team during freshman year of high school, I was fitted for a uniform right before team photos. I had never felt so naked in my entire life. The sleeveless jersey and almost nonexistent shorts revealed limbs so pale they could blind you in full sun exposure. But the uniform served a purpose. It identified me with my team and covered as little of me as possible so I could run quickly, unimpeded (though I was, nonetheless, very slow). My oldest sister found the same exception when playing varsity soccer. The shorts were shorter than we were allowed to wear, but the uniform served a function in the sport.
  There are real activities that require us to wear less than we normally would, but for the sake of other people not needing to see our every detail, we still need to make sure that we aren't looking for excuses to romp around in the buff. To this day I wear an SPF 50 swimming shirt to the beach or the pool. I'm not there to compete, so I don't need a pair of racing briefs. Our children have obtained a skin tone similar to that of a fresh sheet of acid-free printer paper, so most people don't question us when putting them in bathing suits that cover their shoulders and thighs. But it's not just about preventing years of melanoma removal for us. It's about teaching a consistent idea. And that idea is that every single person should be modest. We need to respect our bodies and respect that others probably don't want to see them when we're in public. After all, if we don't respect ourselves, then who will?
  

The Love Between Daddy

The calendar showed off the old and the young, the innocence of youth, the "I should have known better" of my 20's and of course my brother, sister, and parents. As the editor in chief I exercised full control of what photos would go in and of course the witty one liners to accompany each photo. It may seem childish, but as the youngest child you have to enjoy moments like this.

If you are new to sugar daddy dating and it worries you that you might get a thrifty kind of man who will control you and give you a lot less than what you had imagined, here are some effective ways to make money from him without directly asking. Dress up and be sexy. Be hotter than you've ever been before. If he finds you amazing, he may give you more money without you having to ask for it in the future.

They love to show off to their sugar babies. They like giving support to their sugar babies especially when it comes to achieving dreams and ambitions. You have to thank him for it so he will want to keep doing it. And, of course, remember to complain how expensive the groceries and everything else are these days! He may increase your shopping budget for that or just hand you his gold credit card.

As a sugar baby whenever you discuss money this can be a delicate situation because you do not want to come across as a gold digger. But, there is a way to approach any topic and a true sugar daddy will understand and even respect your openness to negotiate all the details up front. So if on your profile you mentioned what you expect as gifts and/or allowances then there should be no surprises when you bring it up.