This is a decision that many parents do not research well enough and about which they often fall victim to peer pressure. When your child claims that EVERYONE has a cell phone, make a few calls and ask those parents how it’s going for them.
Just ask the parent of the third grader who begged and pleaded for a cell phone, professing his mature trustworthiness and responsible nature, and promptly lost his phone. Or ask the fourth grade parent who sees that his child uses the phone only for online games.
Before making the cell phone decision, a parent needs to ask herself if there is a need for the phone. (To a child most wants become needs!) Then look at the child’s track record for being responsible, for taking care of his possessions, for following through on family rules, to name just a few examples of his readiness for a cell phone.
Many of us long for the character building that happened before cell phones were available. Children used to be told to be at the park entry at 5 pm. If they weren’t there, the park privileges were gone. Today we simply call them to come out. No responsibility needed. So be sure to give some thought to what your child will not learn by having a cell phone.
A cell phone is a computer. Having one gives the child access to many of the things for which you have carefully put parental controls on your home computer. Is your child ready for the easy access to the great World Wide Web when you are not there to supervise?
If it is a matter of you needing to be in touch with your child, consider getting him a phone, just a phone. Procure for him one that has room for three contacts: home, Mom’s work, and Dad’s work.
Many experts agree that a good age for a child to have a cell phone is middle school. Sometimes that is 6th grade and sometimes it is 7th. That seems to be an age and context when children are given and respond to more responsibility more successfully.
Regardless of when you grant that urgent wish, be sure to have a cell phone contract that delineates the responsibilities an consequences that accompany having a phone. And if you really want him to be invested in his phone, make sure he is responsible for some, if not all of the monthly cost, too. (What?! Your child doesn’t have an allowance yet? Uh oh. Better go to You’re Not the Boss of Me again.)
